• Tony Birkhead


Handle #3- We Always Place Covenant over Convenience!


Marriage is a Covenant before God. Over the years it has come to be viewed as more of a contract and a convenience. But what happens when it gets inconvenient? What happens when it becomes difficult and not so easy? Because a lot of marriages didn’t start with a Covenant mindset when they started, they end from a lack of convenience.


Genesis 2:24

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Matthew 19:5-6

‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Ephesians 5:21-25

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…


If you’re in a relationship, how are you opposites, and how are you similar?

Being honest, what were some of the things you found cute early on that over the years are not so cute? (Don’t hurt your spouse. Make sure this is something you’ve talked and laughed about.)

Read Matthew 19:5-6. Why do you think God makes marriage such a big deal? What purposes does it serve?

“Marriage is a covenant, not a contract.” How would you describe the differences between the two?

Have you seen the concept of submission abused? How have you seen it work in a God-honoring way?

Read Ephesians 5:21-25. How could this affect the way a husband and wife relate? Talk about some specific examples of arguments, decisions, responsibilities, etc.


Heavenly Father, help us to always pursue godly relationships about “we” and not “me.” Holy Spirit, give us the strength to love the way You love us. Jesus, You sacrificed Your life for us. Teach us to lay down ourselves as godly partners. Amen!


  • If you’re married, ask your spouse today what makes them feel loved, then do it.

  • Start each day this week quoting James 4:17 (see above).


Genesis 2:24-25

2:24-25 God’s timeless design for marriage is declared here. The one flesh relationship certainly involves sexual union, but also includes a husband and wife coming together in spiritual, mental, and emotional harmony. Because the devastating effects of sin had not yet ravaged nature or humanity, there was no need for clothing. Adam and Eve could live without the barriers needed to shield them from their environment and each other without a sense of shame.

Matthew 19:5-6

19:4-6 God ordained marriage both by creation and command. He created two complimentary genders, male and female, and commanded one man and one woman to unite in marriage. Since God ordained marriage, human efforts to dissolve it constitute an attack on God’s own work.

Ephesians 5:21-25

5:22. Wives submit directs wives to be submissive to their own husbands (Col 3:18–4:1). The distinctive feature here is that the relationship between husband and wife is compared with that between Christ and the church. No verb is in the original language of verse 22. The imperative “submit” is understood from verse 21.

5:22-24. Paul addressed wives first. They were to be voluntarily submissive to their husbands. No external coercion should be involved, nor should submission imply that the wife is a lesser partner in the marital union. The submission is governed by the phrase as to the Lord. Christian wives’ submission to their husbands is one aspect of their obedience to Christ. Submission is a person’s yielding his or her own rights and losing self for another. Submission is patterned after Christ’s example (Phil. 2:5-8) and reflects the essence of the gospel. Submission distinguishes the lifestyle of all Christians.

5:25. Paul turned to the duties of husbands. The society in which Paul wrote recognized the duties of wives to husbands but not necessarily of husbands to wives. As in Col. 3:19, Paul exhorted husbands to love their wives, but Ephesians presents Christ’s self-sacrificing love for the church as the pattern for the husband’s love for his wife.

#love #Relationship #promise #Covenant

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